The concept of the “Self” lies at the core of many spiritual and philosophical traditions. It is often described as the most fundamental aspect of our being, the true essence of who we are. However, the Self is not something we can easily grasp through our usual means of understanding, like thought, perception, or intellect. It transcends our physical, mental, and emotional experiences, yet it is ever-present and underlies all of them. In this chapter, we will explore what the Self is, how it differs from the ego or personality, and why understanding the Self is key to realizing true reality. The Self as Pure Consciousness At its essence, the Self is pure consciousness. It is the awareness that observes all experiences, but it is not limited by or attached to those experiences. It is the unchanging witness of all that arises in life—the thoughts, emotions, sensations, and perceptions we experience daily. To grasp this concept, think about a movie screen. The screen remains ...
We can fall
into the delusion that the "outside" world is what creates our problems.
But the truth is that the source of all our suffering is the ego,
stemming from the games the ego plays. And what is it? It is the
limited, isolated, illusory self, not seeing beyond its own nose. The
inner saboteur keeping us locked in the "dark dungeons" of our own mind.
The
ego has a vital function. It is what, like a moving camera, shows us
what is happening in the external world. Without it, we would have no
awareness of things. As long as we have a physical body, we must have an
ego. The problem is that it gets out of control.
The ego should
simply be like a courier delivering messages to our conscious mind.
Instead, we allow it to open our letters, read them, and tell us how to
respond. And not only that, but we also let it choose which letters to
show us!
We elevate the ego to a position for which it is incompetent.
Our
task is to understand our ego so we can recognize its inflated tirades
and babbling. It is a slippery buyer, transforming in various ways; we
must be able to penetrate beneath its masks because beyond the ego lies
our true, unlimited self.
Getting angry over trivialities,
feeling fear and anxiety, feeling desperate, helpless, and hopeless,
feeling offended and guilty, seeking approval and admiration, taking
things personally, criticizing and judging others, feeling empty and
unsatisfied, swinging from one mood to another, feeling pressured by
time and compelled, striving to be perfect, worrying about appearance
and social success, focusing solely on goals and outcomes, clinging to
the past, fearing change, worrying about failure, humiliation, and
rejection, competing instead of cooperating, being manipulative, harming
and abusing others, being rigid and unyielding, being unable to live in
the present moment, being addicted to alcohol and drugs, being
dependent on something, desperately seeking love and security, wanting
to be "special" to someone, feeling that life is useless and
meaningless, taking ourselves too seriously, waiting for the "external"
world to be fixed so we can feel okay... all these feelings and experiences are driven by the ego.
The
ego is quite confused by the idea of equality. It simply cannot grasp
that we are all unique but equal. Everything must be compared and
evaluated as either "better" or "worse" than its alternatives. The ego
wants us to develop talents and accumulate knowledge, not for the pure
joy and challenge of playing the accordion, reading a book, writing,
dancing, painting, changing the interior design of our home... but to
receive flattery and admiration from others. The ego wants a romantic
relationship solely to feel "special" to someone – it is not driven by
the desire to give love and establish true intimacy, sharing, and mutual
creativity in life. The ego cannot love; it is afraid of love. It is
selfish and arrogant. Filled with illusions of its own grandeur. Its
driving force is to be fed and to satisfy the desire to feel superior to
others, to be distinct from the rest, to feel "special."
For
example, if you are drawn to metaphysics, spirituality, the occult, the
magical... the ego will gladly see a playground for action and will try
to convince you that this makes you "better" than others. After all,
this is a new understanding of the world, a new spirituality, a new
trend, a teaching... everything else is outdated, it will say... And the
ego loves to preach. It loves to play games. Spiritual games are no
worse than others.
In reality, of course, nothing makes us better or
worse than others. We are all unique. Each of us possesses our own
palette of qualities, character, abilities, and shortcomings – and if we
judge others, we judge ourselves. After all, the world is a mirror. If
we love ourselves unconditionally, we will not feel the need to judge
others.
On the other hand, self-deprecation – the feeling that we are
something less than others – is another way of expressing the ego. "Oh,
I am just a nothing, trash, a worm, don't bother with me, I want to
disappear, I want to be gone, to sink into the ground, I am completely
useless, and why and how would anyone want to interact and be with me, I
am just a neurotic...